Brian’s Exploratory Christmas Endeavor ’20: Christmas in the Smokies Christmas in the Smokies: Various: Movies & TV

You already know what this movie is. Without even having to read the description, you already know.

A tough, righteous country girl with a sweet mama and a sassy, wiser-than-he-seems papa, is handling her business around the farm when the man she once loved and never forgave, returns for a few days. At the same time, financial pressures are emerging for the main character’s family, and this dreamboat, who might not be as bad as she thinks, could hold the answer to her problems. There’s even kids in a children’s hospital.

And it should all be worse. The Christian spirit in it should be more heavy-handed. The wise old father should feel less like a real human being. The actors should all be horrible. The script and camerawork should be garbage.

And it’s all just…fine. Again, not “fine” as in good, oh, gracious, no, but “fine” as in, “as inoffensive as a movie this bland can be.” The acting is surprisingly good! Nothing, from the characters, to the Christian spirit, to the enthusiasm for Appalachian values is laid on too thick. You know every move this movie is going to make about 90 minutes before it makes them, but it’s just not excruciating even though it really ought to be!

If you’re in the mood for some hokey, pointless, unoriginal, uninspiring, insipid Christmas schlock, you can do a lot worse than Christmas in the Smokies. It’s low on my new ranked Christmas list on Letterboxd, but it’s not at the bottom like some films we’ll be talking about soon on the podcast.

After an extremely limited theatrical run and after some time on the INSP TV channel, something I’d never heard of before, as of the time of this writing Christmas in the Smokies is available on Netflix.

GBU Holiday-Adjust Christmas Rating: 3/10

I’m excited to be kicking off my Exploratory Christmas Endeavor to finish off this butthole of a year, and you can look at my to-watch goals on this Letterboxd list. I won’t get to all of them, and several of them are my mainstays that I’ve already covered and watch every year, but still, it’s a look at what I’m going to try and watch this season. Stay safe, watch some Christmas shit, and let’s try to get our spirits up together!

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