Disney’s 2019 remake of Dumbo, the problematic but otherwise lovable 1941 classic, is a perfect example of why these remakes should not be made.

I had low expectations going into Dumbo for a variety of reasons. While I haven’t seen any of the “live-action” (read: CG+) remakes of Disney’s remarkable older films before this one, popular consensus has been that they have been all over the place in terms of quality and worthiness to exist. Lindsay Ellis made an excellent video essay last year about the Beauty and the Beast remake, which I can’t recommend enough. In it, she details the ways in which, on paper, it is a shot-for-shot remake (so why should it exist at all?) and in practice, it misses the point or over-explains things that don’t need to be, and makes for a great exercise in cinematic uselessness.

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Well, Shit

I’m not proud of myself.


That’s point number one.

But I bought another fucking laptop.

And by bought, I mean financed.

Because the last one was all fucked. Look. It’s out for repairs. This one is fresh and attractive and we’re just not going to talk about the money right now. Okay?


Podcast inbound. Has to be. It’s the only way I could justify this to myself.